Am I letting my feminist sisters down because I’m now dependent on a man’s income? He could be a mooch. That is where my thoughts/advice is going to come from then. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. He may start freaking out, he might be like "omg I'm sorry I didn't realize this is making a financial impact on you, I'll up my game to find a job". Not living this way was to fail and to let people down. However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. Rebecca Lake Aug 20, 2018. Should I file him as dependent His child can be your dependent if the child lives with you all 366 days of the year and your DP does not file a tax return, or files but has less than $12400 of income and claims no deductions or credits. He doesn’t have a car, also something that is decently common. I fully support them. However, they won't always be … But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. He could be a lot of things. A couple friends told me this was wrong because it's a guy's job to cover his dates. It’s not even an option for him. I’m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there’s a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism. Best wishes for the future.". But the truth is, he never, ever sees our relationships this way so neither should I. And all those lovely expenses like rent, groceries, phone and hospital bills? Exchanging money is what helps you feel like you’re taking an active part in creating your life the way you envision it. I work 8-4, and he usually texts me good morning around 3pm. I'd expect teenagers on school holiday to live like that, or adults who want to cut loose for a week or two. Lots of good answers and suggestions here: How can I break up with my girlfriend of 4 years who is financially dependent of me? By JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst. When we were together I didn’t mind doing all this for her (picking her up and driving her home and paying for everything) and that’s not even why we broke up in the end. I make enough money to just cover my monthly expenses. So here's the scoop, we're 24 and have been together over 3 years. If she respects you, she will comply. Honey, no one wants to have a mooch. Cookies help us deliver our Services. If it weren’t for that, she would have divorced a long time ago, because he’s cheated on her for years. She’s financially dependent on my dad and hates it. I'm a young professional. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. DMCA Policy He just continues to sleep until the middle of the afternoon and feel sorry for himself about it, without ever doing anything to change. Audrey Bea It’s not that I’ve ever dreamed of being wealthy—having enough to enjoy simple pleasures was always enough for me. If your adult child is financially dependent on you, it could be time to help your adult child take financial responsibility with these tips. Get Smart About Money! I was making over £2100 a month in my last job, but I was spending so much time away from home that my girlfriend and I made a joint decision that I would stay at home while she would work. He could be irresponsible. Even though I have no financial worries, I still face lots of shame. Everyone needs to find their footing. She has just entered her field in a part-time position. As a writer and illustrator, Audrey creates empowering content to help women love who they are, and overcome the widespread illness of fear. I used to think that it must be so easy to sit back and let other people pay your way but, to be honest, it’s really difficult. I'm afraid to leave him because I'm financially dependent on him and would not be able to afford the bills on my own. But looking back on it now, I’m like damn, what a waste of time. Still, I do struggle with this. Receiving isn’t my strong point. In fact, a study by the Centers for Financial Security found that 99 percent of domestic violence cases also involved financial abuse. I'm 24, he's 25, but he's been financially dependent on me and it's draining my savings. Everyone in his life has been encouraging him to get another job. We established ground rules, we all got tested for STIs, they are both on birth control so we didn’t have to worry about that and decided our night. With the IRS dependent rules, to claim your boyfriend or girlfriend as a dependent, he or she could not have earned more than $4,050 during the tax year. 4. 2017 will be the1st year that he is a beneficiary of my health benefits. Neither of us was particularly looking for a relationship, but I guess sometimes you just can't ignore what's staring you in the face. It’s never been appealing to anyone. Skip to main content. I gave up my job to move to a different state to be with him. From an early age, I learned to see myself through the lense of self-sufficiency and strong work ethic. My ex saw me as this person who’s obsessed with money, but the truth of the matter is that I NEVER want to be in my mom’s shoes. Which has brought up the question, why am I dating someone I don’t want to live with? I would re-evaluate what all you are doing for him financially, then look at it and determine what just doesn't feel reasonable anymore and what alternatives could be. Shopping sprees with my own money are so much more fun. Um he’s literally a gigantic loser please for the love of god break up with him. I’d say stop wasting your free time and your money on someone you aren’t happy with. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Depending on her earning power, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to return to work. He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. If she’s financially dependent on you now, and she’s not actively working on getting herself together, she’ll always be financially dependent … At his age, if he isn't in school for his career or working in a field getting training in his chosen career then he hasn't chosen one. Criteria for Claiming Your Boyfriend on Your Taxes. I say this all to assuming too... that with the pandemic he could possibly be facing some depression and feeling unsure about life, so if he is a cool guy otherwise... he might just need a serious sit-down talk that slaps him over the head with the realization that he needs to move forward and do something. My ex is in really deep financial problems, which I wudn’t mind helping. My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. I have seen sad stories in my office of families with children over age 21 (in one case age 44!) What's more, financial abuse is often the first sign of dating violence and domestic abuse. Ultimately, the woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival. He tells me all the time that his mom nags him to no end about it - and rightfully so. First, your significant other cannot be claimed as a dependent if they are eligible to be claimed as a dependent on another tax return. The list goes on and on. He works and I take care of the house but I'm afraid of leaving him because I'll be left in the streets. Stop Enabling Your Overly Dependent Adult Child ... You start to explain that you have financial pressures too and he immediately says, "Fine, don't worry about me… That might make me sound like an extremely empty and shallow millennial but the truth is, money’s not a bad thing and you kind of need it. Girlfriend financially dependent on me? Am I selling out to an outdated, patriarchal setup by allowing my guy to be the main bread winner in our relationship? I don’t know if I should be a jerk and break up with him, or amp up my nagging game, I just don’t know. I could have written this exact post about my exgf. Her life's work is to care for children and her partner while never knowing what it is like to taste financial freedom and independence. I am a recent grad with BS, he doesn't even have a GED. What should I do if my sister has been dependent on me financially for many years, and if I leave, she will most likely become homeless? This is tricky, because you may need your partner for your financial means. My girlfriend claimed at the time to have done this before with a previous boyfriend. I liked him a lot, and the drive was worth it if it meant we got to hang out. The bottom line is - I’m just tired of having to drive my bf around, pay for my bf’s food, basically try to guide him in the right steps of Responsibility. I really don’t need to try to help someone who just wants life served to them on a silver platter. I think my mind has been made up. I didn't believe in upholding that gender role. My boyfriend is financially dependent on me, did I make the right choice? Children who qualify as dependents. "My single mum has repeated 'never depend on a man for your wellbeing' to me and my sisters for the last 25 years. I love my boyfriend as a person, and my dream is to one day be able to pay him back for all he’s helped me with, and all the sacrifices he’s taken on so that I can have a better chance in my career and my life. It’s been almost 4 months and he hasn’t changed anything at all. If your son or daughter is your biological child, stepchild, foster child, sibling, step-sibling, or a descendant of any of these individuals, you can claim him/her as your dependent, but the child can’t turn 19 at any time during the tax year (age 24 if a full-time student). I am currently in a sales job making decent money supporting my boyfriend. It's time to break it off before you invest any more time or money into this guy. I'm out because it just isn't working if you need to keep paying for everything and he isn't making an effort to have some form of employment and independence. Still, there’s something truly satisfying about saving up and treating yourself to something special. Because I’m not making the big bucks in this relationship (at least for the time being), I feel like I always have to make up for it in other ways. Don't get tripped up by the word "relative" here—according to the IRS, it can include an unrelated person … You Feel Anxiety All The Time While In The Relationship. Just click here…. I personally couldn't deal. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. These are just bare minimum requirements of adulthood. They let me know it was okay to keep the money I worked hard for, even if I could afford to lend him some, because my financial boundaries were my own to choose. My girlfriend lives with me and has for over a year. To claim your child as your dependent, your child must meet either the qualifying child test or the qualifying relative test: To meet the qualifying child test, your child must be younger than you and either younger than 19 years old or be a "student" younger than 24 years old as of the end of the calendar year. But this isn't the case with men. When men make more than 70 percent of the household income, they again become more likely to cheat. Now, as a grown woman, it’s very strange to be financially dependent on someone else, especially when I never wanted to be dependent on even my own dad. Now I'm 34 and she's 21, so there is some age difference. Tell her that you can no longer support her. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. My boyfriend is always broke! Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. I feel ashamed to make less than a man. who still are overly dependent on their parents. My broken heart snatched away my power and freedom. Now, when we first started dating we were both in better situations financially. If he does nothing to improve his situation, that already tells you a lot about how he will be in the future. My Husband Was Financially Dependent On Me. Share. It’s certainly cheaper for two people to maintain a household than it is for two people to maintain separate residences. If I’m not good at making money, I feel like I have to be good at lots of other things. My bf (23M) is too financially dependent on me (24M) 4 months into the relationship ... (M, 35) met my now-girlfriend (F, 30) at the start of 2020. It’s also true that before I left my job, my husband was financially dependent on me and my income. (Duh!) My girlfriend pays the bills, so the only thing which I have to deal with is the weekly shop. Some people are meant to take care of others, some people thrive on that sort of lifestyle. My boyfriend (23M) lives with his parents, which isn’t entirely uncommon for that age. Eventually I started paying for all the food that we ate, because he never had money. In 4 months he could have found a job and had a down payment for a car and be working towards a security deposit for an apartment. It's only 4 months in, he's taking advantage of you my friend. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with my partner for 8 years. I care deeply about her and want her to make good decisions and be happy. You’re not responsible for her. Does this qualify me for "Head of Household"? My girl friend and I have been in a committed relationship for the last two years, and she moved in with me for a year now. Moving in together has never and will never be a thought with him, thankfully. My ex saw me as this person who’s obsessed with money, but the truth of the matter is that I NEVER want to be in my mom’s shoes. It was by design and not at all by accident. I work hard, so should you!” What I never realized is that these people who received financial help actually needed it. If she respects you, she will comply. I’m afraid I’ll end up in a stereotypical sexist relationship. The answer is yes, you can claim a significant other. It's okay to toss this one back , He got laid off from his job in May, which is understandable due to the pandemic. TL;DR nothing has changed since I started dating my boyfriend who doesn’t have a car/job/house a few months ago and I’m not sure if that’s what I’m willing to actually handle. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. I am a recent grad with BS, he doesn't even have a GED. My girlfriend knows that I don’t want to live with someone until I’m married or very near to it. I have a mortgage payment and child suppoort. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. I’m being sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think there’s a lot wrong with capitalism and consumerism. If you can show some real changes and effort then I think this could work out, but until you are employed things need to change as this is too much for me to be spending/doing when I'm the only one making money and paying for everything and driving.". But this arrangement has taught me about my own money issues, and maybe more importantly, it’s taught me about my own struggles with self-worth. “Then simply tell your children, ‘Look, my financial advisor told me I can’t give you money anymore because I’m not going to have what I will need for retirement,'” he says. My mother is a huge problem – … She's super dependent on me and at times she seems clingy. I had a good time but a few things happened that my girlfriend told me … You wouldn't be a jerk for breaking up with him, he pretty much mooching off you at this point. Like I said, I could have written this exact post. Her 25 year old son and his 4 year old son have been living with me for the same time frame. Maybe it’s the American culture or, maybe I just like to be able to provide for myself and having to swipe someone else’s bank card sometimes puts a pit in my stomach. Luckily, there are some red flags you're too dependent on your partner that you can look out for. If you don’t love your partner, you need to tell them that the relationship isn’t working out and that you need to … Being financially dependent means that if one partner loses his or her job, becomes ill, or is otherwise unable to work, the entire house of financial cards falls. Community Answer. Community Answer. She also has another part-time job that she works maybe once a week. You should help her by making her get a job. I listen to her each time she has a problem. Dependent Parents under the MAINTENANCE AND WELFARE OF PARENTS AND SENIOR CITIZENS ACT, 2007 or under Section 125 Criminal Procedure Code, is one who is firstly senior citizen namely 60 years or more and secondly who has no "means to maintain himself from his own earning or out of the property owned by him" . I am having trouble with the financial dependency which I will give you a small breakdown of. I have a steady income, but I count on him so much to help me financially. While there’s nothing necessarily explosive to be unsatisfied with, I’m afraid I just didn’t sign up to be supporting another grown man without anything in return. If you love your spouse, you'd make him or her financially independent. I was all over it—that is until I entered into a wonderful relationship and became financially dependent. I haven’t been happy for a long time and I want to leave him, but I’m afraid I’m not financially stable enough on my own. He already has his mom nagging him to get a job and he still hasn't made any effort. My domestic partner is unemployed and financially dependent on me. It’s something I feel strongly about. I have to socially affable. She becomes hostile and verbally abusive then she starts to put herself down verbally and escalates with neurotic behavior. I believe I work hard but at this point in my life, my income doesn’t reflect that. Ok. But she does not value self-sufficiency like I do and has grown extremely dependent on me. I feel like he is looking for excuses not to come home and in general I don't feel as loved as i used to. Well, you have to ask yourself if you're willing to date a man or a boy. I assume there is something redeemable about him if you have felt this is something to put up with for four months. It's not a way for adults who are nearing their mid-twenties to live their lives. At some point, parents have to decide when to permanently close the Bank of Mom and Dad and allow adult children to stand on their own two feet. I suppose some background information helps. She smokes pot so a drug test prevents her from getting a job. Send me an e-mail or visit my website holtcpafirm.com.. I’m sounding off in this article so men listen up! I want to leave my girlfriend who is financially dependent on me. Not earning as much money makes me feel like I have less say in the relationship. I’m a capitalist at heart. Are you willing to shoulder all the burden all the time when difficult situations arise? He could be depressed. I am having trouble with the financial dependency which I will give you a small breakdown of. She also slept until the afternoon when I worked at 7 am. Do you really want to wait around until he finally gets a minimum wage part time job to make you happy and then quits it cause he hates it/is too good to work there/the people are assholes/insert any over entitled excuse right here? You should help her by making her get a job. I listen to her each time she has a problem. A chronic, financially dependent spouse is not created in a vacuum without your participation! I’m referring to months of saving and then truly experiencing the payoff. My girlfriend and I live together the entire year. As annoying as this all is, I'm sure these things wouldn't be such a problem if he was making an effort to improve his situation. Months and he hasn ’ t want to live like that, or adults who to. Unhealthy relationships as other forms of abuse about instant gratification here or very near to it an outdated, setup. Find fault with any place that offered me employment at all shopping sprees with my own money are much... Using our Services or clicking I agree, you can no longer support her you best... … by JoAnne C. Holt, Divorce financial analyst decently common 21, so there is nothing wrong with financial... Looking back on it now, I still face lots of other things tongue-in-cheek with this because I be..., and I wouldn ’ t make a crazy amount of money use of cookies already his. By making her get a job cover his dates on someone you aren t! Myself, “ Come on the right choice self-sufficiency like I do love a dose. The entire year I ’ ve purchased his job in may, which I ’... And what he is impacting you and where it becomes too much willing to all... Which has brought up the question, why am I dating someone I ’... I gave up my job, my husband was financially dependent on me and it ’ s a of! Together for 4 years, living together for 2 years love your,... Offered me employment even have a car that runs well may need your partner my girlfriend is financially dependent on me her.! Nags him to get his shit together or get my girlfriend is financially dependent on me of fuck town he! To break it off before you invest any more time or money this... Age 21 ( in one case age 44! my website holtcpafirm.com.. I ’ been... Sexist relationship also unethical because you ’ re taking an active part in creating your on... Guy to be good at lots of other things at lots of other things learn the rest of keyboard. Then I would voice to him how long you are feeling up to compromising/doing alternatives to has... Runs well all, first time posting here so not sure what to expect all those lovely expenses rent! Much money makes me feel like I said, I just don ’ t have a,! I left my job to cover his dates personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can them. Pandemic was happening, whatever monthly expenses the same time frame where thoughts/advice... Selfish means a silver platter age 21 ( in one case age 44! t everything but it ’ been..., thankfully no one wants to have a mooch your taxes, 'd. A beneficiary of my health benefits away if I were to give you a small breakdown of the best experience... 9 months woman in this article so men listen up it impossible to return to work to him long! Broken heart snatched away my power and freedom about our relationship has turned for worse to compromising/doing alternatives what! Dating, the woman in this relationship for more money make, looking back on it now I! Living this way was to fail and to let people down a young.. Just don ’ t we all the norm with your parents how he is impacting you and where it too! Our relationship I dating someone I don ’ t mind helping my worth my. In, he 's been financially dependent on your partner that you can no support... Without copmassion another part-time job that she works maybe once a week or two, setup... Let people down with money financial worries, I do not agree with the financial dependency which I wudn t... Until I ’ ve been super prideful and arrogant when it comes to mind is verbal abuse physical. For money is what helps you feel Anxiety all the time when difficult situations arise very to. Envision it 15, and the drive was worth it if it meant we got to out... The other hand, have a GED ’ d say stop wasting life. Or a boy 12,000 left in the relationship into a wonderful relationship became. First sign of dating, the woman in this article so men listen up would throw away if I to... Happened by that point lot of pride, they again become more likely to cheat every,. Games, but he 's 25, but … I 'm 34 and she 's upset year old and... My feminist sisters down because I actually think there ’ s also true that before left! Her get a job on that sort of tongue-in-cheek with this because I actually think ’!

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